#1 posted August 15, 2005 at 11:21pm (EST) edited August 15, 2005 at 11:27pm (EST)
Immortality Has a Price, brother!
On August 21, 2005 WWE presents Summerslam live from Washington D.C. You know the hometown of the “Beasta” Batista! There’s no way he’d lose in his hometown, right? Anyway, the show looks promising, as lots of titles to be decided, (not the Cruiserweight, World Tag, Women’s, Intercontinental, or WWE Tag though). But seriously what’s the point of having all these titles if they’re never defended on a PPV? It makes no sense. WWE is in a grudge match mode (you can see that by looking at the card of Wrestlemania 21). What gives?
Regardless, as you can see the game has evolved, somewhat. There are no subtime submissions. Just make your picks in the thread. The person with the most correct picks will receive an unopened Shawn Michaels: Boyhood Dream DVD. This is due to subtime being borderline worthless these days. I went out and bought a few budget WWE DVDs just for this. Nice, huh? For those not familiar with the DVD here’s a picture. In the event of a tie, the names will be placed in a hat, and the winner receives the DVD.
Now onto the game
No Photo Available
United States Championship
Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan
Does anybody care about this match? I sure as hell don’t. I’m going to put as much effort into this match description as the WWE did with this feud/match. There I’m finished.
As you can see in the picture, Kurt Angle is quite angry. Furthermore, you can also tell that Eugene is quite retarded. Seriously though, this feud (one of Raw’s most entertaining), started when Eugene won Kurt Angle’s Gold medal Invitational, not to be confused with the Eugene invitational, the Masterlock Invitational, or the Heidenreich/Animal Invitational (the go and beat a few jobbers every week on SD). It will be an entertaining match that will likely open up the show.
What does RKO + IP - KO equal. RIP if you did that right. Undertaker has been showing us his mathematical skills week in and week out on SD, by one-upping the Legend Killer round every turn. This feud began when Orton put an “unidentified foreign object” in Undertaker’s gym-bag backstage. Needless to say the Prince of Darkness got pretty pissed. He began chasing Orton everywhere on WWE TV with his portable fog machine. Even when Orton was having a high-octane encounter with Kamala, Undertaker is that determined. It’s obvious this match will be good. But with the boring “even-steven” booking style the WWE has been utilizing lately (One wrestler wins a match at a big PPV, then they have a rematch at another PPV only to have the other wrestler win), it seems slightly predictable.
Rey Mysterio w/o Dominick vs. Eddie Guerrero w/ a six match losing streak No this is not the Maury show, this is for real! It was revealed that Eddie is actually Dominick’s father, and Eddie now wants custody. The court system has decided to hold off on a verdict as to who will get custody of Dominick. They just couldn’t decide. The official verdict was:
We’re just not sure who to give little Dom to, so how about you two have a match at Summerslam to determine his fate? I’d personally like to see a ladder match with these here custody papers, don’t worry I’ll give them to a referee, hanging in the balance. By the way, why are you always wearing a mask, Rey?
So there it was. Our judicial system, decided to determine a boy’s path through life in a wrestling match. As you can tell this storyline is insane, but just to throw in another laugh, here’s from the preview on WWE.com
“In the meantime, Dominick is in foster care until these two Superstars and former friends and tag team partners settle their differences.” I wonder who Dominick’s foster parents are rooting for? Better yet, they should have a camera set up in Dominick’s foster home, showing Dominick, his “brothers” and “sisters” watching Summerslam. That would be great. But seriously, how did Rey father his daughter? Did Rey steal another baby? Here’s to hoping my favorite little 8-year old bleach blonde haired Mexican goes home to his real dad…
Matt Hardy =/= Kane anymore. Matt Hardy is back, and he’s pissed at Adam “Edge” Copeland, something about Adam having raunchy sex with Matt’s girlfriend. Somewhere, Kane sheds a single tear, as Matt Hardy took his place. Expect this match to only set the stage for another encounter at the next PPV (double DQ anyone?).
JBL vs. Batista
This may be the worst storyline on any brand in the WWE right now. And with Eddie/Rey being present, that’s saying a lot. This is the most boring feud involving a World Title in quite some time. I guess this storyline is basically about JBL being a bully or something. But take it from me, Batista, if you’re 300 pounds of solid muscle, am I really supposed to believe you’re being bullied around by JBL? That is a question we must get past for me to not crap on this “storyline,” Dave. Basically every SD ends with JBL or Batista mindlessly interfering in a match involving the other. It’s fudging boring. I hate you Stephanie!!
Hogan no-showed my photo shoot! It wasn’t a big enough payoff
Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels
This match obviously has the most buildup. In Hulk’s aging body though, I doubt it’s possible to pull off a classic, regardless of HBK being in his prime. But just for fun, let’s see what Kevin Nash thinks about the match. This was taken from an interview with WWE.com
”WWE.com: What do you think we can expect from this match?
Nash: I just pray the young guys sit around the monitors and keep their mouths shut and watch how it’s done. If they want to see how to work and not do high spots and Chinese Firedrill and just want to see how it’s done – sit down and watch Shakespeare.”
Kevin Nash believes this will be a 5-star classic, but I just can’t take his word seriously. The way he’s talking, I’d think he’s referring to HBK/Angle or Flair/Steamboat, but HBK/Hogan?!?! Come on, big Kev. You’ve lost even more credibility in my book. I just refuse to believe Hogan can pull off another classic, especially after gauging his performance in the last few tag matches. Let’s face it, brother, the Hulkster’s tank is running on empty.
Chris Jericho vs. John Cena**
I love Chris Jericho. I’m just beginning to like John Cena a little. I believe this will be the best match at Summerslam. The only negative thing about this match is that it’s so damn predictable. For those who don’t know, it’s been widely reported that Chris Jericho is taking a much-deserved break from wrestling following Summerslam. Secondly, the Unforgiven poster has already been released advertising Kurt Angle vs. John Cena for the WWE Title. Why do that WWE? Why? I can understand the fact that Jericho’s leave of absence getting leaked, it’s only natural. But with the Unforgiven poster already being released, it kills any credibility Jericho once had. I guess that’s why they’re going with the Hogan/Michaels as the “premier” match of the night. What threat does Jericho pose to the title? Absolutely none, I say. But what do I know? The good thing is Jericho has had a highly entertaining title program, it’s the only one he’s gotten since losing the title at Wrestlemania 18 in 2002. I sincerely hope that Jericho/Cena steal the show, as the Title match always deserves top billing in my opinion.
Orlando Jordan over Chris Benoit
Kurt Angle over Eugene
Randy Orton over Undertaker
Rey Mysterio over Eddie Guerrero
No Decided Winner in Edge vs. Matt Hardy
Batista over JBL
Shawn Michaels over Hulk Hogan
John Cena over Chris Jericho
according to googlefight, here are the winners for summerslam: shawn michaels, john cena, batista, edge, undertaker, eugene, eddie guerrero, orlando jordan
#54 posted August 21, 2005 at 9:04pm (EST) edited August 21, 2005 at 9:43pm (EST)
Other spoilers so far(If nobody minds me putting them up:)
Edge beat Matt in a short match. It looks like Matt really hurt himself b/c Edge flipped him out of the corner and Matt met the ring post face first. The ref stopped the match, so this might be legit...
Rey beat Eddie w/ help from Eddie's wife. This was a little sloppy, but was still a good match.
Angle retained his gold medals.
Randy Orton "killed" the Undertaker w/ an assist from......................Bob Orton.
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yeah, just annihilating someone to completely bury them is always a smart move Jordan may not have been the best US champ around, but still better to at least make him look like he was a legitimate champ.
Edge beat Matt in a short match. It looks like Matt really hurt himself b/c Edge flipped him out of the corner and Matt met the ring post face first. The ref stopped the match, so this might be legit...
Rey beat Eddie w/ help from Eddie's wife. This was a little sloppy, but was still a good match.
Angle retained his gold medals.
Randy Orton "killed" the Undertaker w/ an assist from......................Bob Orton.
Cena beat Jericho
Batista pinned JBL after a Batista Bomb on the stairs...ouch
Hogan(duh) beat HBK after HBK threw everything at him and Hogan still won
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For those wondering, the Hardy vs. Edge match was a worked match but both men worked stiff. It was more or less WWE's way of having Hardy "pay his dues" for being rehired.
you don't like it so don't buy it
like you need to be told
The Essay is in the books, so now its time for the results of the game...!
First off the results of Summerslam
Benoit over Orlando Jordan
Edge over Matt Hardy
Kurt Angle over Eugene
Rey Mysterio over Eddie Guerrero
Randy Orton over The Undertaker
John Cena over Chris Jericho
Batista over JBL
Hulk Hogan over Shawn Michaels
Congratulations, you are the winner of the Shawn Michaels: Boyhood Dream DVD. I'll be able to send it out in the next couple of days. Please email me with your address ASAP. Thanks to everyone who played this time, and just to leave you a picture of next month's DVD that will be up for grabs.
If I made an error while counting out the winners, please inform me, it's really late at night....I'm about to fall asleep.
I'll hopefully be back with a review of the show tomorrow.
Kevin Nash has been telling friends that WWE called him to work the SummerSlam PPV. Apparently they wanted him to run in and do a screw job angle during the main event, allowing Michaels to win. Nash ended up turning down the idea, which surprised a lot of people since he would have been paid much more than what TNA was paying him, mainly just to put over Jeff Jarrett.
The fact that at one point in time, Hogan was supposed to be screwed and lose to Shawn at SummerSlam, just goes to show how much confusion there was surrounding the finish of the match right up until the last minute.
I'm big enough to make up for all that I never really did
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Jordan may not have been the best US champ around, but still better to at least make him look like he was a legitimate champ.
