| | | Author | Message |
|---|
Chad
  
| | #1 posted July 3, 2009 at 3:39pm (EST) |
(I was requested to do another CYOA, doing a different approach with this one)
You wake up as the sun just starts to penetrate the shades. You look at the alarm clock, which is slightly fuzzy and realize it is only 5. You roll onto your back and hear a "mmmmh" next to you. You look over and realize there is a woman in bed with you. She's a bit of a mess right now, but appears to be reasonable attractive. You smile to yourself, giving yourself some minor kudos, though you can't remember her name or even what you did last night. You look around the room and it is completely foreign to you. On the wall you see a marvelous painting
 [full]
As you chuckle about it, you realize this is no painting a woman would own. You start panicking, assuming that you are making some man a cuckold who will soon barge in and kick your ass. After all, any man that owns a painting such as that is sure to be a major bad ass.
So you get up and walk through the door which seems strangely low. You normally have significant clearance under doorways but you nearly brushed your hear on the top of the door. As you walk into the bathroom you see an unfamiliar sight in the mirror. At first you think it is the incredible badass here to kick your ass but you quickly understand something out of this world has happened. You see a pair of glasses which you put on to get a better understanding of the surroundings. Since someone else is around, you don't want to start yelling and screaming, that could just make things worse. You start walking around and as you go upstairs you see a bowl with a wallet in it. You open said wallet and look at the id. You bring it to mirror and as you look at the license and your face you start shaking. Chad? I am Chad? I fudging hate that ass hole. Why me? What is going on here?
You start looking around some more and find a computer. You log onto gametz. You open up your messages and see one from Nick. You open it and see that it has a phone number in it. His phone number? God, you hope so. You know that Nick has a massive man crush on Chad. If anyone is an authoritative figure on Chad related knowledge, it is Nick. You call that number. You hear a groggy "Hello?"
"Umm, hey dude. Sorry, did I wake you? This is Chad."
"....."
"Chad from Gametz."
"Huh? Really!? DUDE! Chad, how's it going!!!!"
"Oh, pretty good. I was thinking you know, I don't have anything to do this weekend so maybe we could hang out."
"Oh my god, absolutely! You could come chill at my new place, you'd like it! We could talk about cars, watch movies, maybe wrassle a little bit, in a non-gay way of course."
"Haha, yeah, sounds good man. But first I need to know if you are a real friend. Over the years I have told a lot about myself and i need to know you were paying attention. If you can answer some questions about me, I'll hang out with you."
"Oh absolutely dude! Without a doubt!"
"Alright, first, where do I work?"
"You work at B&**(#& in Kent."
"That's right. What kind of car do I drive?"
"Your daily driver is a green 4runner, your project car is a 71 lemans!!!!"
"Yes, very good. If I was to tell you there is a woman in my bed right now, what would her name be?"
"Ummmm.... crap, I know you said this before.... sorry bro, I can't remember.... I know you said you have a new GF though"
"Hmmm, its ok, don't worry about it. Send me your address and what time is good for you on Saturday. I'll see you then."
"Oh, right on man!! Crap, this is going to be so awesome."
Click
Ok, you have some good information. Maybe not everything you need, but enough to get started.
What do you do now?
A) Get on gametz and ask for guidance
B) Try going to work
C) Try having sex with the unnamed woman in your bed
D) Do some self mutilation, assuming that eventually you will be out of this body and since you hate Chad, you want to hurt him. | Chad
| | #121 posted July 8, 2009 at 4:44pm (EST) |
where the fudge would i find ninjas in this real world confession story I am creating? the ocean does have sharks, though. just a thought. | Knight
 
| | #122 posted July 8, 2009 at 4:50pm (EST) |
Chad wrote:
> where the fudge would i find ninjas in this real world confession
> story I am creating? the ocean does have sharks, though. just a
> thought.
Ninjas ride sharks, Duhhhh.
 [full] | RDTZ
 
| | #123 posted July 8, 2009 at 5:00pm (EST) |
B
Ah, after 2000 years I'm free....Time to TAKE A NAP!!! | CoachMcGuirk
 
| | #124 posted July 9, 2009 at 12:20am (EST) |
B
Black Hole Brew pub is open for business! Drunken ramblings encouraged! | sugiz0r
| | #125 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:00am (EST) |
B | Chad
| | #126 posted July 9, 2009 at 12:01pm (EST) |
B
As you continue your trip back north, you pass Pirate Petes House O' Seafood you realize you haven't eaten since you killed Bob and all his friends, so you whip the car around and pull in. As you walk through the door you are greeted with a "Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum, would you like a table for one?" Your eyes light up as you see the perpetrator of this near rhyme is a young man. A young PIRATE man. You sit down an order Blackbeards treasure chest, all the while eyeing the young man. He notices your stares and comes over to ask "Yaaaaaar, ye have a problem with yer bountious feast?" "No me mate, this feast be fine indeed! I were jus wonderin what share of the booty this vessel provides ye?" "The capin of this ship be a scoundrel indeed. The bare minimum be my pay." "Then how about ye leave this dink and join my vessel as first mate! All expenses plus 10% of the loot after the ship be taken care of." The young man agrees and you now have First Mate John. John hands in his resignation and you both get in your Hyundai. You figure the nearest water would be due west in California so you set out that way.
After a few hours on the road in near silence John asks "Just where exactly are we heading? I don't even know the name or place of your restraunt yet."
Restraunt? you think to yourself. Is that pirate slang for a ship? Must be. "We be headed to California wherst we will comandeer a restraunt as we live on the high seas!"
"Oh, like Malibu?"
"Aye."
As you pass through Nevada you ask John "What else need a pirate ship beyond a first mate?"
"Umm, I don't know... other... mates?"
"Ahh, companions ye mean!"
"Sure."
You pull up to a male prostitute in Reno.
"Whatchu need tonight daddy?" he asks.
"I be looking for fellow mates to help plunder some booty! Are ye up to it?"
"Aye aye captain! Plundering booty is what I am all about! $100 and hour or $200 for the night."
"Thy wages be scandalous! I be looking for partners, not mercenaries!"
"Oh, you want to be my big daddy sailor? Alright hun, where we headed?"
"To the oceans of California!"
"Count me in skipper."
As your journey continues, you also gain the company of an unemployed hitchhiking teacher, a bum that was a desert storm vet, a trucker whos truck broke down and a family of what appear to be illegal immagrants from Mexico. As you pull into the marina on a california beach with your car far overloaded in capacity, you get out and stretch your legs.
"Me mateys! Here be the ocean! Gather some materials whilst I capture a fine vessel for our use!"
"Que?" inquires the father of the illegals. You don't like his insolent attitude, you will have to watch out for him.
As you walk down the pier in the marina, you notice the ships getting continually better. As you reach the end, you see a fine 110' sailing yacht with an inboard motor to supply power when the the wind is not blowing. You walk aboard the fine ship and fine someone on board cleaning. "Disembark this ship, it be the property of the Tweeking Pirates now and I be the Twee King!" As he begins to say "huh?" you stab him in the face with your new pirate knife and throw him over board telling him to sleep with the fishes since you can't think of a better one liner off the top of your head.
You pull the ship around to where your crew is and they look at it with awe and admiration as they board. You say "This here ship be not a democracy but I be a fair and thoughtful king! What suggestions ye have for our first mission?"
A) Orgy
B) Que?
C) Sell the ship you just freed
D) Something more pirate like (this is your suggestion and really the only legitimate choice.) | Yamas
(frozen)
| | #127 posted July 9, 2009 at 12:17pm (EST) |
D
mackey wrote:
> One day you'll see the trade: bill gets: $50 Walmart
> Gift Card, BoB gets: GameTZ.
Check out the GameTZ Freebie Forum | King_link
| | #128 posted July 9, 2009 at 1:10pm (EST) |
D
"DONNY, YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT!"
| kess
| | #129 posted July 9, 2009 at 1:15pm (EST) |
A | King_link
| | #130 posted July 9, 2009 at 1:41pm (EST) |
Don't you disagree, Kess, you son of a dog
"DONNY, YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT!"
| Knight
| | #131 posted July 9, 2009 at 1:41pm (EST) |
D | kess
| | #132 posted July 9, 2009 at 1:43pm (EST) |
King_link wrote:
> Don't you disagree, Kess, you son of a dog
>
Don't go talkin' all ugly to me! | Chad
| | #133 posted July 9, 2009 at 2:13pm (EST) |
D
You hardstare the illegal immigrants who continue their insolence. "Pirates we be and the pirates life we shall live on the high seas!" you proclaim. You set sail and head to international waters. You come across a 40' yacht. Not having a proper pirate flag, you scramble to find something to announce your menace. Finding the loud speaker system you blast Wham's hit sensation Wake Me Up Before You Go Go. As you begin pulling up to the yacht you ask your crew if they acquired the weapons you requested. They look at each other blankly and you hear a "Que?" in the background. You feel an emptiness in your stomach as you realize that your knife is the only weapon you have. Regardless, you feel you should board the ship. You figure your best bet is to have a human shield of sort before boarding. Standing behind John, you yell at the vessel "Give us all your treasure and food lest ye be killed by me knife!" The crew on the other ship kind of looks at each other and ignores you. You throw John onto the other ship and jump after. What follows is a systematic stabbing as you murder everyone on board. You head below deck in search of the treasure. Finding nothing, you come back to the deck and find your ship stolen by the crew and John missing. "MUTINOUS BASTARDS!!!!!" you yell as you shake your fist at them.
As you sulk, you begin to think that maye what happened is they decided to continue the life of pirates without you since you were taking too big of a cut. You check the wallets of the murdered passengers and count that as your booty. You take your new ship down to Mexico where you sell it for $10,000. You begin to make your way back up north, thinking of nothing but revenge against your former crew. You figure they have kept the pirate persona. Remembering your days as an internet nerd, you realize that the mortal enemy of pirates are ninjas, so if you want to get revenge against your crew, the way to go is as a ninja. You buy a ninja outfit, large gun with a sword on it and a jet ski, figuring this is the best way for a ninja to fight a pirate ship. Figuring if you sell the remainder of your meth you could buy some throwing stars and swords and other cool ninja crap, you head back to where you car was parked. You see dozens of police taping it off and interviewing people. Thankfully you are already in your ninja attire, so they cannot see you. You escape scared and then it dawns on you. This is all out war of the pirates against you! They tipped off the authorities! With only a few hundred dollars left in your pocket, you head back to where your jet ski was left. Since you are now without meth in your system, you seek out the nearest shady guy to sell you drugs. He doesn't have any meth, but he does offer you a whole array of hallucinigens and disassociatives and otherwise crap that takes you out of this world. You take all of his drugs and get on you jet ski.
The skies turn to strange colors, the coastline looks unfamiliar, but here you are, ninja on a jet ski with a gun with a sword on the end of it. Out of the corner of your eye you see a figure riding the waves. A submarine? No... a robot riding a shark! The pirates must have hired this man as an assassin to take you out. You speed towards him intent on killing him first. As he shoots his ray gun into the air you grit your teeth and prepare to impale him with your sword gun. As you slam into him you lose consciousness but with a smile on your face as you know you were the victor. The last thing on your mind before you black out was that of the first thing you saw when your adventure begin. The painting. The answer was in the painting.
[full]
After considerable time passes, you begin to awake. The sun beats down on your face, making you think it is about noon. That's odd, you think. Normally you are an early riser. Well, at least not a slouch who sleeps in until half the day is over. As you groggily open you eyes, and drag yourself to the bathroom. Like the movie cliche, you wash your face, start feeling refreshed, and you look at the mirror. With a sudden double take and an expression of pure horror, you touch the mirror. You touch your face. This goes on a few times. You come to the realization that you are Richie Winters. Panic sets in. Could this be a reaction of your own, or is it Richie's social anxiety kicking in because you are actually 2 people (yourself and Richie)? You start hyperventilating so you sit down. How did you get here! What were you doing before?! You know you are not Richie, but here you are. Dear god....
| Forgotten_Freshness
 
| | #134 posted July 9, 2009 at 2:20pm (EST) |
hahaha.
 | Chad
| | #135 posted July 9, 2009 at 2:20pm (EST) |
leavin crap open ended son! | Knight
| | #136 posted July 9, 2009 at 3:29pm (EST) |
wait doesn't that mean the Richie story follows this? | Forgotten_Freshness
| | #137 posted July 9, 2009 at 3:37pm (EST) |
DUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRr
| Chad
| | #138 posted July 9, 2009 at 4:52pm (EST) |
m. knight shamalan cant touch my crap, son. | RDTZ
| | #139 posted July 9, 2009 at 5:52pm (EST) |
Epic.
Ah, after 2000 years I'm free....Time to TAKE A NAP!!! | CoachMcGuirk
| | #140 posted July 9, 2009 at 10:21pm (EST) |
This should go on Digg. This is something that jerks on other message boards would post a link to, and would be followed by several HAHAHHAHAHAs and thumbs up and such.
Black Hole Brew pub is open for business! Drunken ramblings encouraged! | Chad
| | #141 posted July 9, 2009 at 10:53pm (EST) |
awwwww,  | DirtyMarco
| | #142 posted July 9, 2009 at 10:53pm (EST) |
Get a room you two. | CoachMcGuirk
| | #143 posted July 9, 2009 at 10:54pm (EST) |
I'm serious. Come up with a few more, and you could get this published.
jerk
Black Hole Brew pub is open for business! Drunken ramblings encouraged! | Chad
| | #144 posted July 9, 2009 at 10:59pm (EST) |
wanna join, jerk? | Chad
| | #145 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:01pm (EST) |
published? fudge that, this is crap.
the next choose your own adventure i do will not be related to this world. though i might be able to provide the vDub preview... | CoachMcGuirk
| | #146 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:04pm (EST) |
Do something with monkbonk and how his retarded way of talking gets him the chair in Texas.
Y'know, cuz Texas kills retards.
Black Hole Brew pub is open for business! Drunken ramblings encouraged! | DirtyMarco
| | #147 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:06pm (EST) |
choose your own adventure Bill Edition
You wake up one morning and realize you are bill. What do you do?
A. Ban Chad
B. Ban all the noobs
C. Change your name to vDub
D. Shut down GTZ.
 | Chad
| | #148 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:07pm (EST) |
yeah, i got that. i actually filter him, so i dont know the dirt on him. | Chad
| | #149 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:08pm (EST) |
cyoa dirtymarco edition
you wake up and realize you are dirtymarco. what do you do?
a) something retarded
b) something more retarded
c) something even more retarded that that
d) the most retarded thing imaginable | CoachMcGuirk
| | #150 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:08pm (EST) |
I should... it was amusing at first, but now it just pisses me off to read anything he posts.
Black Hole Brew pub is open for business! Drunken ramblings encouraged! | BluePhoenix
| | #151 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:09pm (EST) |
Chad wrote:
> published? fudge that, this is crap.
I agree, you need more imagery. | CoachMcGuirk
| | #152 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:09pm (EST) |
e) continue giving me untraceable cell phones in Mafia Wars
Black Hole Brew pub is open for business! Drunken ramblings encouraged! | DirtyMarco
| | #153 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:11pm (EST) |
E of course. Do you need another one I think I have one.
| Chad
| | #154 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:13pm (EST) |
BluePhoenix wrote:
> Chad wrote:
>> published? fudge that, this is crap.
>
> I agree, you need more imagery.
fudge imagery. that doesnt work on stories like this. going into detail on the fine mist of the blood as i plunge a knife into the belly of a crew member or the crunch i hear as I drive over the head of a dwarf adds nothing to the story. | Chad
| | #155 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:16pm (EST) |
how about this as the next one
Choose your own adventure: You are a disgruntled 911 operator. | DirtyMarco
| | #156 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:17pm (EST) |
That could work.
| Chad
| | #157 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:18pm (EST) |
the other options would be a bad sex line operator or suicide hotline operator | CoachMcGuirk
| | #158 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:18pm (EST) |
Do you:
A) Listen intently
B) Listen while eating a donut and watching 'Silver Spoons' on TVLand
C) Fall asleep
D) Masturbate furiously
Black Hole Brew pub is open for business! Drunken ramblings encouraged! | CoachMcGuirk
| | #159 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:19pm (EST) |
all my previous options apply.
Black Hole Brew pub is open for business! Drunken ramblings encouraged! | BluePhoenix
| | #160 posted July 9, 2009 at 11:21pm (EST) |
Chad wrote:
> BluePhoenix wrote:
>> Chad wrote:
> |>> published? fudge that, this is crap.
>
>>
>> I agree, you need more imagery.
>
> fudge imagery. that doesnt work on stories
> like this. going into detail on the fine
> mist of the blood as i plunge a knife into
> the belly of a crew member or the crunch
> i hear as I drive over the head of a dwarf
> adds nothing to the story.
it helps to built suspense and a situation as opposed to being like a summary where you don't go in depth and things just happen and it seems like it's skipping around. The fine mist of blood adds everything man. Other than that I liked ya story though. | | |
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