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| Author | Message |
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Chad
  
| | #1 posted September 24, 2009 at 12:20am (EST) |
As I am sure you are all aware, I am something of a father figure or mentor for Richie. He looks at me and sees what he wants to be, and to be honest, who can blame him. So because of that he sent me his resume to look over for him. I questioned what sort of data it could contain, on account of his work history, or lack thereof, but I agreed nonetheless. Reading it, I couldn't help but smile. Enjoy Richie's interpretation of a resume.
RIcHIE's REZUMAY
My SKILlS
1) NIaL POLiSH
2) "INTeRNETTINg"
3) SOSHAL ANXIetY
4) IntERNET MODeRAtER GAMEtZ,COM
5) SoLO DUTcH OVENinG
6) MaRTIEL ARtS ExPeRT
7)CAIT LiKE REFleXES
8) HEmP bRACLeTS (i makz em!!)
9) LOLCATS. I dON MAK tHEm, bUT I LAFF AT THEM.
MY GOaLS
1) MARLBORO MaN 2012
2) gUtaR PLAYR 4...,,,. uhh GUNX n ROSES!!!1
3) GINNUS BUK OF RECORDS foR BESD FASHAL HAIR
4) NEVAR sHOWER My STINK
5) LIV WITh MY BROTheR FORVER!
6) SEe A REAl-LIvE VAgINEA BY AGe 47
7) MECKSeCO
8) TuCH A rEAL-LIFeD VAGNIE B,Y AgE 65
9) CRE8 INTERNT MEMe
I WILL
1) PLAY VIDO GAMeS
2) STaEL N-Ething OF VALuE 2 SaLE 4 METH
3) BaKE COOKIeS
4)tAKE L0TS PAYPALe LOaNz
5) Be WEL ResTED SInCE I haf ONLY WOrkED 1 DAY in the LAST 10 YERS
6) STiK UP 4 MY ATHIEST BELEEFz
7) EAt CUPCAKS
8) CuNTINUe 2 BLAmE MY PR0BLeMS oN A ImAGINERy AnXITEY DIs0RDer
9) KeEP On ROCKiN!
Personally I found his pledge to eat cupcaks to be the most compelling reason for an employer to hire him. How about you? |
Chad
| | #2 posted September 24, 2009 at 12:22am (EST) |
eh, this should have been in general but whatever. |
Forgotten_Freshness
  
| | #3 posted September 24, 2009 at 8:27am (EST) |
5) SoLO DUTcH OVENinG
hahahahahahaha.
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Chad
| | #4 posted September 24, 2009 at 5:41pm (EST) |
this was, of course, a C&I collaborative event. |
invisibleink
| | #5 posted September 24, 2009 at 8:08pm (EST) |
WHY ISNT THIS IN GENERAL
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Chad
| | #6 posted September 25, 2009 at 11:59am (EST) |
we could get this on the hot topics list? |
Chad
| | #7 posted September 25, 2009 at 11:59am (EST) |
what do you think? |
Chad
| | #8 posted September 25, 2009 at 11:59am (EST) |
about my suggestion? |
Forgotten_Freshness
| | #9 posted September 25, 2009 at 11:59am (EST) |
I am down for it
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Forgotten_Freshness
| | #10 posted September 25, 2009 at 11:59am (EST) |
the suggestion that is
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Forgotten_Freshness
| | #11 posted September 25, 2009 at 11:59am (EST) |
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Chad
| | #12 posted September 25, 2009 at 12:18pm (EST) |
That pleases me. |
Chad
| | #13 posted September 25, 2009 at 12:19pm (EST) |
I knew I could always count on you. |
Chad
| | #14 posted September 25, 2009 at 12:19pm (EST) |
Unlike that bastard Nick. |
Chad
| | #15 posted September 25, 2009 at 12:41pm (EST) |
So I have to help a friend move this weekend. |
Chad
| | #16 posted September 25, 2009 at 12:41pm (EST) |
I say friends don't ask friends to help friends move, if they are real friends. |
Chad
| | #17 posted September 25, 2009 at 12:41pm (EST) |
I would never ask nick to help me move, so does that make me a real friend of his? |
Forgotten_Freshness
| | #18 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:06pm (EST) |
I think so
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Forgotten_Freshness
| | #19 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:06pm (EST) |
If nick was a real friend he'd offer to let you watch him move while he buys you pizza and beer
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Forgotten_Freshness
| | #20 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:07pm (EST) |
And he'd post here instead of not posting here!
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Chad
| | #21 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:13pm (EST) |
good point. |
Chad
| | #22 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:14pm (EST) |
and that is why you are better than nick |
Chad
| | #23 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:14pm (EST) |
not that nick is bad or anything |
Forgotten_Freshness
| | #24 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:20pm (EST) |
As far as I'm concerned, Nick owes me a pizza.
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Forgotten_Freshness
| | #25 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:20pm (EST) |
Nick is still cool even if he doesnt give me pizza though. I'm just demanding because it's lunch time
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Forgotten_Freshness
| | #26 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:21pm (EST) |
Oh, and my brother said he thinks he has a wrestling ring, that makes sounds! I think I can get it.
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Chad
| | #27 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:22pm (EST) |
jerk TAG NO TAG BACKS! |
Chad
| | #28 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:22pm (EST) |
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck |
Chad
| | #29 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:22pm (EST) |
that sure bit me in the ass. |
Chad
| | #30 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:32pm (EST) |
I was fully expecting a boomerang jerk tag there. |
Chad
| | #31 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:32pm (EST) |
but it never came. |
Chad
| | #32 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:32pm (EST) |
thats what she said. |
Forgotten_Freshness
| | #33 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:56pm (EST) |
I tried, but the system told me I was posting too fast. I tried like fudge.
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Forgotten_Freshness
| | #34 posted September 25, 2009 at 1:56pm (EST) |
Fudge.
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CoachMcGuirk
 
 
| | #35 posted September 25, 2009 at 4:04pm (EST) |
Someone should make a more legit-looking resume in Word and screenshot it. |
Forgotten_Freshness
| | #36 posted September 25, 2009 at 4:34pm (EST) |
DO IT
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Forgotten_Freshness
| | #37 posted September 25, 2009 at 4:34pm (EST) |
YOU CAN
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Chad
| | #38 posted September 25, 2009 at 4:47pm (EST) |
DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! |
invisibleink
| | #39 posted September 25, 2009 at 6:17pm (EST) |
lots of nick talk going down in here
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Chad
| | #40 posted September 25, 2009 at 6:18pm (EST) |
nick wheeler |
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