Rating

F

Specific Ratings

GameplayF
GraphicsC
Learning CurveF
Replay ValueF
SoundC-

Pros and Cons

Pros
  • Nice Can Art
  • It gots caffeine
Cons
  • TASTE
  • TASTE--
  • Out of most cans I tasted, it somehow seemed flat
  • TASTE - HORRIBLE MIND BENDING TASTE
  • Really deserves a F--

Red Bull Simply Cola (other)

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Summary

Possibly one of the worst new cola's in existence. Think "New Coke" Bad.

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Description

BEWARE THIS SEEMINGLY INNOCENT CAN*.* THE TASTE IS TERRIBLE*.*

I honestly don't know how this got by testing. It is simply the most horrible cola formula that you could ever believe would be made.

First, every single one I have tasted seems to be flat for some reason. I tried it buying it at three different locations, so someone must have decided that's how they were going to sell it. It's as flat as a three day old Coke, to give you a better description as to how carbonated this beverage is. Flatness and staleness tend to go hand in hand, so you can imagine just how fresh this drink tastes.

Second, it not only TASTES stale, but the sensations are so strong that it would take industrial strength cleaning alcohol for someone to overlook the taste. If you TRULY want to know what is in this can of death, head over to the spoiler. Just reading the ingredients should tell you that "Cola" was more marketable then "nasty brown flat energy drink".

It's NOT EVEN GOOD with VODKA


As for color, this is tricky. It looks to be more of a Cokish colored "cola", so buyer beware if someone is out to prank you. There's no discernible smell at first to warn you that you are about to gulp one of the nastier non-alcoholic beverages known to man. Unless the target is already inebriated, it would be impossible to slip this by someone if you run out of Coke.

The possible reason why it's so far beyond redemption? Look behind the spoiler and marvel at what goes into this death drink.



Red Bull Cola is flavored with plant extracts, including galangal, vanilla, mustard seed, lime, kola nut, cocoa, licorice, cinnamon, lemon, ginger, coca leaf, orange, corn mint, pine, cardamom, mace, clove, and lemon juice concentrate.

For comparison, Pepsi One has : Carbonated water, caramel color, Natural and Artificial flavors, Phosphoric Acid, Potassium Benzoate (Preserves Freshness), Sucralose (Splenda), Caffeine, Citric Acid, and Acesulfame Potassium. Most cola's have the majority of this list with Highly Concentrated Corn Syrup replacing Splenda.



Red Bull Cola has more caffeine then Coke or Pepsi, but if you are looking for an energy drink, there are much better options to be had. If you are looking for an alcoholic beverage, then use the old standby Coke and Rum, or if you need an alcoholic energy drink, use Regular Red Bull and Vodka. If you want both, simply mix'em together since it will be better then this *bleep*. Not only will it contain more caffeine then this Red Bull Cancer, it won't make you want to take a Brillo pad to your tongue to scrape off your taste buds.

Yeah, it's THAT bad. Avoid at all costs, and if encountered treat as if it were nuclear waste material. It's a HAZMAT in a can

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