VideoGame_Discussion

Topic   Secret Satan 2024! Start weeping, because it's time to play!

benstylus
GameTZ Gold Subscriber GameTZ Full Moderator 550 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (9) Has Written 26 Reviews
* 23-Feb(#1)
We're getting close to March which means 1 month away from April Fool's Day.

Who all is interested in doing a Secret Satan gift exchange this year?

If you haven't heard of it before, it's like Secret Santa except the aim is to get someone a game they will absolutely hate. Then we all play it on April 1st and share our misery (or surprise joy).

Going to put a $10 price charting value minimum like last year. In fact, last year's rules worked pretty well so I'll keep them the same:

Your game must have a minimum value of $10 based on Price charting for a game in similar condition. (If it's on the cusp, take a screenshot for proof). That makes things interesting so that we don't just buy the cheapest craptiest game in the gamestop bargain bin. Note you don't necessarily have to pay $10, that just needs to be its pricecharting value. If you have a poop game already that fits the bill, by all means feel free to use it

You can send multiple games if you want, but at least one of them must individually meet that $10 threshold. (So a $10 game plus a $2 bonus game is fine, but sending five $2 games by themselves is not).

Creativity in packaging or sending bonus items may be fun and hilarious, but is by no means required. If you do receive something creative, please take pics and share, it will be more fun for all of us.


Post a message saying you're in, or send me a PM and I'll get you on the list! If we get at least 8 participants (we had 10 last year) it's a go!

We'll get everyone assigned in the first week or so of March, and then everyone will have 2-3 weeks to find and send something to their target.

As a reminder, one of the survey questions will be whether you are uncomfortable being paired with any of the other participants. That way if there is a certain user (or multiple users) on the site, you can privately let me know. I will keep that request confidential and make sure that they won't be your Satan.

Past years:
2023 https://m.gametz.com/VideoGame_Discussion/secret-s...
2022 https://m.gametz.com/VideoGame_Discussion/secret-s...

This year's group:

benstylus - Homie Rollerz Nintendo DS
Bleed_DukeBlue - Alex Kidd in Miracle World DX Nintendo Switch
brian9824 - Flatout 3: Chaos & Destruction Steam
citizen_zane - Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly Nintendo GameCube
Frank - Charlie's Angels Nintendo GameCube
Gypsy - Magic: The Gathering - BattleMage PlayStation no metacritic score
Heavyd814life - Agony PlayStation 4
Kommie - Hunt Down The Freeman Steam no metacritic listing
Oduomega - Yoda Stories (Game Boy Color) This version doesn't even have a metacritic listing
ryanflucas - King's Knight Nintendo Entertainment System no metacritic listing
sailorneorune - Spice World PlayStation, Smurf Racer PlayStation, Sesame Street Sports PlayStation, Deal or No Deal Special Edition Nintendo DS, and The Dukes of Hazzard: The Return of the General Lee PlayStation 2
SupremeSarna - Rollerblade Racer Nintendo Entertainment System and Mickey’s Safari in Letterland Nintendo Entertainment System no metacritic listings

Didn't play but needs an invite next year
tigg


benstylus
GameTZ Gold Subscriber GameTZ Full Moderator 550 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (9) Has Written 26 Reviews
9-Mar(#61)
Frank wrote:
> benstylus wrote:
>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby Cherub
>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here
>>
>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold
>>
>>
> You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to open
> the shrink wrap and play it.

Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan.

Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller

Well poo


benstylus
GameTZ Gold Subscriber GameTZ Full Moderator 550 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (9) Has Written 26 Reviews
9-Mar(#62)
[GAME] is a wasted effort... My advice? Put this game in a landfill far, far away and leave it there.

image

You know you're in for it when IGN gives it less than a 7

citizen_zane
GameTZ Subscriber Quadruple Gold Good Trader
* 9-Mar(#63)
"This game is, simply, bad, in just about every way, from the uncomplicated, dated control system to the limited play boundaries surrounded by invisible walls, the poor camera, and unsatisfying play mechanics and the sometimes-disturbing graphics."


Gypsy
GameTZ Subscriber 300 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Global Trader - willing to trade internationally
9-Mar(#64)
"The gameplay mechanics are chaotic, at best, the AI is plain dumb, the level-design is muddled, the scenario is boring… Well, there’s nothing to save here."
Frank
GameTZ Subscriber 800 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (13) Has Written 11 Reviews Secret Santa
9-Mar(#65)
benstylus wrote:
> Frank wrote:
>> benstylus wrote:
> |>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby
> Cherub
> |>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here
> |>>
> |>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold
> |>>
> |>>
>> You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to open
>> the shrink wrap and play it.
>
> Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan.
>
> Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller
>
> Well poo
>
>
>

Don't worry I have a spare smile
benstylus
GameTZ Gold Subscriber GameTZ Full Moderator 550 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (9) Has Written 26 Reviews
9-Mar(#66)
Frank wrote:
> benstylus wrote:
>> Frank wrote:
> |>> benstylus wrote:
>> |>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby
>> Cherub
>> |>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here
>> |>>
>> |>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold
>> |>>
>> |>>
> |>> You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to
> open
> |>> the shrink wrap and play it.
>>
>> Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan.
>>
>> Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller
>>
>> Well poo
>>
>>
>>
>
> Don't worry I have a spare smile
>


Will just have to sell my TV too then

SupremeSarna
Silver Good Trader
9-Mar(#67)
This game feels like some executives were out drinking one night and came up with a hairbrained idea for a video game. They then took it to the design team and just gave them a bunch of random ideas they had scribbled on the back of some cocktail napkins. The development team didn't really understand what the executives were hoping for and were too embarrassed to ask any questions. Plus, they didn't have the technical skills to execute it anyway, so they just phoned in the whole project to get the executives off their back...

Final Score: 3/10 (Awful)
SupremeSarna
Silver Good Trader
10-Mar(#68)
May I name a few games I had to pass up because they didn't meet the price requirement? Don't worry, you won't be able to tell who I'm assigned to based on the list--it's pretty varied system-wise.
citizen_zane
GameTZ Subscriber Quadruple Gold Good Trader
10-Mar(#69)
Wow, some of these sound like real gems!

Gypsy
GameTZ Subscriber 300 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Global Trader - willing to trade internationally
10-Mar(#70)
SupremeSarna wrote:
> May I name a few games I had to pass up because they didn't meet the price requirement?
> Don't worry, you won't be able to tell who I'm assigned to based on the list--it's
> pretty varied system-wise.

Sounds fun. Honestly the price requirement does make this a bit trickier. I understand the reasoning behind it but a lot of AMAZING KUSOGE is appropriately priced because no one wants that crap.

Largo Winch might be the worst game I've ever played, and it's a sub $5 PS1 game on pricecharting even now...
benstylus
GameTZ Gold Subscriber GameTZ Full Moderator 550 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (9) Has Written 26 Reviews
* 10-Mar(#71)
Sadly, there is no reason for anyone to play through [GAME]. The storyline is one that [LICENSED IP] fans already know; the gameplay is below that of Quest for Camelot; and better graphics and sound exist in 20-year-old Colecovision games. Furthermore, the game's password save system requires you to reach the end of a level before it offers you the ability to rejoin the quest, almost forcing a person to play the game. If [PUBLISHER], [DEVELOPER], and [IP OWNER] are lucky, people will forget this stinker quickly. [GAME] is quite possibly the worst [LICENSED IP] video game ever produced.

~Frank Provo, GameSpot.com reviewer


image


Now I want to check out Quest for Camelot LOL

benstylus
GameTZ Gold Subscriber GameTZ Full Moderator 550 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (9) Has Written 26 Reviews
10-Mar(#72)
SupremeSarna wrote:
> May I name a few games I had to pass up because they didn't meet the price requirement?
> Don't worry, you won't be able to tell who I'm assigned to based on the list--it's
> pretty varied system-wise.

If it makes you happy and doesn't spoil the fun feel free

citizen_zane
GameTZ Subscriber Quadruple Gold Good Trader
* 10-Mar(#73)
"While xxxxxxxx is a horrifically terrible experience, at least it's extremely short. What seems like a decade of isolation and cruelty is more like two and a half hours."


SupremeSarna
Silver Good Trader
* 11-Mar(#74)
Bad news: I've been testing my NES throughout the day, and it is seriously on the fritz. It's a pain getting the image to display at all, and after about 15 minutes of play, the color goes and everything rapidly turns to static.

So if my Secret Satan bought me an NES game, I may not be able to play it at all.


EDIT: Scratch that. I tried my NES one more time, and now it’s working as well as ever. To prove it, I beat Super Mario Bros.
[imgt w=1536 h=2048]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GIX8h8RW8AA5Cp1?format...[/imgt]

So all my consoles are still good!
citizen_zane
GameTZ Subscriber Quadruple Gold Good Trader
11-Mar(#75)
The game that I bought arrives today. I can't wait to try it out!

"Abysmal in every way. The only possible reason there could be for purchasing it is to give as a present to a particularly hated relative - but that might be considered a little harsh."


benstylus
GameTZ Gold Subscriber GameTZ Full Moderator 550 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (9) Has Written 26 Reviews
11-Mar(#76)
I'm out of review sites. I could grab another review or two from Amazon, but everyone else reviewed the PC version (which is quite different) instead of this port.



SupremeSarna
Silver Good Trader
11-Mar(#77)
benstylus wrote:
> I'm out of review sites. I could grab another review or two from Amazon, but everyone
> else reviewed the PC version (which is quite different) instead of this port.

Why not write one yourself based on your knowledge of the game? You have a way with words and irreverent snark, so I'm sure it would be fire. cool smile
SupremeSarna
Silver Good Trader
* 11-Mar(#78)
There were plenty of games I wished I could send, but did not meet the price threshold. Some of the best include:
The Cat in the Hat PlayStation 2 (based on the horrific Mike Myers movie--sounds peachy!)
Star Wars: Jar Jar's Journey PC / Windows (an educational Phantom Menace game for young children)
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones Game Boy Advance (the most uninspired, dreary beat'em-up you'll find)
Shrek Microsoft Xbox (the funniest SM64 clone you'll find)
Men in Black: The Series Game Boy Color (easily the worst 2D action game I've played first-hand)
Drawn to Life: The Next Chapter Nintendo Wii (a pitifully poor entry in a prolific, respected series)

There are many others, but I don't want to eliminate too many possibilities.
Gypsy
GameTZ Subscriber 300 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Global Trader - willing to trade internationally
11-Mar(#79)
@SupremeSarna Shrek is a SM64 clone???? Never would have guessed..
Frank
GameTZ Subscriber 800 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (13) Has Written 11 Reviews Secret Santa
11-Mar(#80)
benstylus wrote:
> Frank wrote:
>> benstylus wrote:
> |>> Frank wrote:
>> |>> benstylus wrote:
> |>> |>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby
> |>> Cherub
> |>> |>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here
> |>> |>>
> |>> |>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold
> |>> |>>
> |>> |>>
>> |>> You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced
> to
>> open
>> |>> the shrink wrap and play it.
> |>>
> |>> Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan.
> |>>
> |>> Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller
> |>>
> |>> Well poo
> |>>
> |>>
> |>>
>>
>> Don't worry I have a spare smile
>>
>
>
> Will just have to sell my TV too then
>
>

I haven't tested this, but in theory, I bet I could get my portable GameCube screen working on a 2600 grin
citizen_zane
GameTZ Subscriber Quadruple Gold Good Trader
11-Mar(#81)
Well, I've tried the game that I got for my victim. The good news is that they won't be punished nearly as much as benstylus was last year. The bad news is that this game still royally blows.

SupremeSarna
Silver Good Trader
12-Mar(#82)
I would try the game I bought, but it came wrapped in protective plastic. If my SS is wise, he/she will admire its elegant wrapping and avoid opening it. laughing out loud
benstylus
GameTZ Gold Subscriber GameTZ Full Moderator 550 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (9) Has Written 26 Reviews
12-Mar(#83)

This game sucks!!!

Even with for 15 bucks this game isn't worth buying! After five minutes, I understood that I won't play that game anymore. The graphics are very basic and simple but the animation... aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh! How a game can be so choppy even with one caracter on screen??? The game engine is crappy... I won't even talk about the gameplay... so much slowdown don't make the fighting easier... [STATEMENT POSSIBLY IDENTIFYING GAME REDACTED]... good luck killing enemies...

~ icecicle, Amazon.com reviewer
1 out of 5 stars


Note: All the "..." are from the actual review - they are not editorial marks from me denoting something was removed. The only edit I made was redacting one line with reference that would be a major clue as to the identity of this game.

I wouldn't change anything else about the review, even with for 15 bucks.

citizen_zane
GameTZ Subscriber Quadruple Gold Good Trader
12-Mar(#84)
The controls are horrendous, relying on an uncontrollable camera angle that seems to mostly face the wrong way in a 3D game. The end result is that you won't know what you are up against or where you are headed until it's too late.


SupremeSarna
Silver Good Trader
12-Mar(#85)
[Game] is, at best, a brave attempt to try to [description]. At its worst it’s a poorly designed and ultimately frustrating mess that really isn’t worth any of your time. Don’t be suckered in by the credentials of the developer; there’s a very good reason why you’ve never heard of this game.
Gypsy
GameTZ Subscriber 300 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Global Trader - willing to trade internationally
12-Mar(#86)
My game will be here tomorrow. Looking forward to playing some shiiiit.
benstylus
GameTZ Gold Subscriber GameTZ Full Moderator 550 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (9) Has Written 26 Reviews
13-Mar(#87)
I bought this game because I loved the game on the PC... Not as good as the PC version.

3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed by: Lisa from Northern CA on 6/26/2019 at LukieGames.com


Frank
GameTZ Subscriber 800 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (13) Has Written 11 Reviews Secret Santa
14-Mar(#88)
This is the worst game ever, definately not a good game. Kids may like it a little, but if you all are 10 and over dont buy this. This is the easiest game ever and incredibly BORING. Trust me, this is not worth buying, and if you get it, go trade it in at Gamestop, I got 11 dollars for it and I got it for 10 dollars at Massachusetts.

Where to even begin...
The graphics lag often.
The story is far, far, FAR too short. It feels like fanfiction written by a fourth-grader.
The controls are slightly wonky, especially if you've been playing [redacted] on the [redacted] all your life.
Unless you have plenty of money to throw around, don't purchase this game NEW. Purchase it USED, preferrably for no more than $5, because that is all it's really worth.
If you want it for game-playing purposes, you will be sorely disappointed, especially if you are a fan of the previous games.


Both of these reviews are approximately 9 years apart from eachother laughing out loud
SupremeSarna
Silver Good Trader
14-Mar(#89)
Frank wrote:
> This is the worst game ever, definately not a good game. Kids may like it a little,
> but if you all are 10 and over dont buy this. This is the easiest game ever and incredibly
> BORING. Trust me, this is not worth buying, and if you get it, go trade it in at
> Gamestop, I got 11 dollars for it and I got it for 10 dollars at Massachusetts.
>
> Where to even begin...
> The graphics lag often.
> The story is far, far, FAR too short. It feels like fanfiction written by a fourth-grader.
> The controls are slightly wonky, especially if you've been playing [redacted] on
> the [redacted] all your life.
> Unless you have plenty of money to throw around, don't purchase this game NEW. Purchase
> it USED, preferrably for no more than $5, because that is all it's really worth.
> If you want it for game-playing purposes, you will be sorely disappointed, especially
> if you are a fan of the previous games.
>
> Both of these reviews are approximately 9 years apart from eachother laughing out loud

You're sending someone Kirby Star Allies?
Frank
GameTZ Subscriber 800 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (13) Has Written 11 Reviews Secret Santa
14-Mar(#90)
SupremeSarna wrote:
> Frank wrote:
>> This is the worst game ever, definately not a good game. Kids may like it a
> little,
>> but if you all are 10 and over dont buy this. This is the easiest game ever and
> incredibly
>> BORING. Trust me, this is not worth buying, and if you get it, go trade it in
> at
>> Gamestop, I got 11 dollars for it and I got it for 10 dollars at Massachusetts.
>>
>> Where to even begin...
>> The graphics lag often.
>> The story is far, far, FAR too short. It feels like fanfiction written by a fourth-grader.
>> The controls are slightly wonky, especially if you've been playing [redacted]
> on
>> the [redacted] all your life.
>> Unless you have plenty of money to throw around, don't purchase this game NEW.
> Purchase
>> it USED, preferrably for no more than $5, because that is all it's really worth.
>> If you want it for game-playing purposes, you will be sorely disappointed, especially
>> if you are a fan of the previous games.
>>
>> Both of these reviews are approximately 9 years apart from eachother laughing out loud
>
> You're sending someone Kirby Star Allies?
laughing out loud

Kirby Star Allies was easy, but not a bad game. What I'm sending, from the 15 minutes I played upon receiving it, was not very enjoyable. laughing out loud

citizen_zane
GameTZ Subscriber Quadruple Gold Good Trader
14-Mar(#91)
My Secret Satan is taunting me via subscription transfer! Good one, Satan.

citizen_zane
GameTZ Subscriber Quadruple Gold Good Trader
15-Mar(#92)
"Flawed gameplay and camera issues means you'll be fighting twice as much, but more with the crazy camera as it spins all over the place during fight sequences. Neither rent nor buy this title; save the cash for something else."



SupremeSarna
Silver Good Trader
15-Mar(#93)
Meet [character]. [...] He is red, as are his enemies and their projectiles. Yet his environment is green! Red and green are opposing colors, providing for a stark contrast between the background and interactive objects. For once, the action in [game] is VISIBLE.
Frank
GameTZ Subscriber 800 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (13) Has Written 11 Reviews Secret Santa
16-Mar(#94)
"Banned in many countries for unnecessary [redacted] intercourse.."

"Choppy framerates, poorly-designed levels, the characters look like they're made out of clay, and oh so many glitches."

"This is one of the worst games I have ever played with Superman 64 and Sonic Genesis. "


SupremeSarna
Silver Good Trader
16-Mar(#95)
I have received my package. I have not shipped the other person’s yet, but it’ll be ready soon enough.
Kommie
250 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader
16-Mar(#96)
Frank wrote:
> "Banned in many countries for unnecessary [redacted] intercourse.."
>
> "Choppy framerates, poorly-designed levels, the characters look like they're made
> out of clay, and oh so many glitches."
>
> "This is one of the worst games I have ever played with Superman 64 and Sonic Genesis.
> "
>
>

Is this Indigo Prophecy?
Frank
GameTZ Subscriber 800 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (13) Has Written 11 Reviews Secret Santa
16-Mar(#97)
Nope

SupremeSarna
Silver Good Trader
16-Mar(#98)
That’s high praise for ClayFighter 63 & 1/3. laughing out loud
SupremeSarna
Silver Good Trader
* 16-Mar(#99)
Frank wrote:
> "Banned in many countries for unnecessary [redacted] intercourse.."
>
> "Choppy framerates, poorly-designed levels, the characters look like they're made
> out of clay, and oh so many glitches."
>
> "This is one of the worst games I have ever played with Superman 64 and Sonic Genesis.
> "

Ohhhh, I think I know which game this is. You don't have to confirm anything, obviously.


Does it contain motorcycle sequences, perchance?

Oduomega
Gold Good Trader Global Trader - willing to trade internationally
17-Mar(#100)
SupremeSarna wrote:
> Frank wrote:
>> "Banned in many countries for unnecessary [redacted] intercourse.."
>>
>> "Choppy framerates, poorly-designed levels, the characters look like they're made
>> out of clay, and oh so many glitches."
>>
>> "This is one of the worst games I have ever played with Superman 64 and Sonic
> Genesis.
>> "
>
> Ohhhh, I think I know which game this is. You don't have to confirm anything, obviously.
> ...
Motor Crazycycle?
Frank
GameTZ Subscriber 800 Trade Quintuple Gold Good Trader Gold Global Trader (13) Has Written 11 Reviews Secret Santa
17-Mar(#101)
Nobody has guessed it correctly. raspberry

Topic   Secret Satan 2024! Start weeping, because it's time to play!