VideoGame_Discussion

Topic Secret Satan 2024! Start weeping, because it's time to play!

benstylus

* 23-Feb(#1)

We're getting close to March which means 1 month away from April Fool's Day.

Who all is interested in doing a Secret Satan gift exchange this year?

If you haven't heard of it before, it's like Secret Santa except the aim is to get someone a game they will absolutely hate. Then we all play it on April 1st and share our misery (or surprise joy).

Going to put a $10 price charting value minimum like last year. In fact, last year's rules worked pretty well so I'll keep them the same:

Your game must have a minimum value of $10 based on Price charting for a game in similar condition. (If it's on the cusp, take a screenshot for proof). That makes things interesting so that we don't just buy the cheapest craptiest game in the gamestop bargain bin. Note you don't necessarily have to pay $10, that just needs to be its pricecharting value. If you have a poop game already that fits the bill, by all means feel free to use it

You can send multiple games if you want, but at least one of them must individually meet that $10 threshold. (So a $10 game plus a $2 bonus game is fine, but sending five $2 games by themselves is not).

Creativity in packaging or sending bonus items may be fun and hilarious, but is by no means required. If you do receive something creative, please take pics and share, it will be more fun for all of us.

Post a message saying you're in, or send me a PM and I'll get you on the list! If we get at least 8 participants (we had 10 last year) it's a go!

We'll get everyone assigned in the first week or so of March, and then everyone will have 2-3 weeks to find and send something to their target.

As a reminder, one of the survey questions will be whether you are uncomfortable being paired with any of the other participants. That way if there is a certain user (or multiple users) on the site, you can privately let me know. I will keep that request confidential and make sure that they won't be your Satan.

Past years:
2023 https://m.gametz.com/VideoGame_Discussion/secret-s...
2022 https://m.gametz.com/VideoGame_Discussion/secret-s...

This year's group:

benstylus - Homie Rollerz

Bleed_DukeBlue - Alex Kidd in Miracle World DX

brian9824 - Flatout 3: Chaos & Destruction

citizen_zane - Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly

Frank - Charlie's Angels

Gypsy - Magic: The Gathering - BattleMage

no metacritic score
Heavyd814life - Agony

Kommie - Hunt Down The Freeman

no metacritic listing
Oduomega - Yoda Stories (Game Boy Color) This version doesn't even have a metacritic listing
ryanflucas - King's Knight

no metacritic listing
sailorneorune - Spice World

, Smurf Racer

, Sesame Street Sports

, Deal or No Deal Special Edition

, and The Dukes of Hazzard: The Return of the General Lee

SupremeSarna - Rollerblade Racer

and Mickey’s Safari in Letterland

no metacritic listings

....................................... Skipping Messages Here .......................................

brian9824

5-Mar(#41)

benstylus wrote:

> ryanflucas wrote:

>> Watch everyone exchange copies of Balan Wonderworld.

> [imgt w=640 h=1387]https://i.ibb.co/3BtdWFT/Screenshot-20240302-10274...[/imgt]

> It is below the threshold. You could always include it as a bonus game though!

https://www.pricecharting.com/game/nintendo-switch...

Looks like new copies of Balan Wonderworld isn't below the threshold

Kommie

5-Mar(#42)

The real problem is actual crapty games are usually only obtainable digitally, and if it exists physically it might be some stupid expensive LRG release.

brian9824

5-Mar(#43)

Kommie wrote:

> The real problem is actual crapty games are usually only obtainable digitally, and

> if it exists physically it might be some stupid expensive LRG release.

Yeah i'm really glad we are having the option of a digital gift if the person is ok with it. It opens up some real possibilities. Like i use Steam and there are a TON of options on Steam that would make for some true torture.

benstylus

5-Mar(#44)

All surveys are now in, so tonight or tomorrow will be matching you up with your victims

benstylus

6-Mar(#45)

All victims have been assigned.

citizen_zane

7-Mar(#46)

In about an hour, I'm going to go to a couple of used game stores and see if they have the sweet gem that I've picked out for my victim fellow gamer. I've got to try this game out too, just to get a taste of what I'm going to be putting that person through. I like to know what kind of experience they're going to have.

SupremeSarna

7-Mar(#47)

Game obtained! I look forward to shipping it out. Should we send our games at the earliest opportunity? Or should we all send them around the same time?

benstylus

7-Mar(#48)

You can send as early as you want. Might want to double wrap it and mark the inner wrapping so they know it's from Satan though.

benstylus

* 8-Mar(#49)

Last year, citizen zane had me as his victim, and since that element of surprise was gone, he sent me snippets of reviews of the game he was sending (obviously with any info identifying the exact game removed).

As a way to keep the fun energy in this thread going, feel free to post them here once you've decided on the game you are sending to your victim.

And for anyone reading, don't do a Google search on the snippets and spoil the fun (at least not until after April 1).

So here is my first snippet:

[GAME] for the [SYSTEM] is one of many [POPULAR IP] games that is just a wonder. As in, it's a wonder how this game ever passed quality control.
~ N. Durham on Amazon.com, rated 1 star

citizen_zane

* 8-Mar(#50)

benstylus wrote:

> Last year, citizen zane had me as his victim, and since that element of surprise

> was gone, he sent me snippets of reviews of the game he was sending (obviously with

> any info identifying the exact game removed).

> As a way to keep the fun energy in this thread going, feel free to post them here

> once you've decided on the game you are sending to your victim.

> And for anyone reading, don't do a Google search on the snippets and spoil the fun

> (at least not until after April 1).

Wonderful idea! I was wanting to do this again, but wasn't quite sure how to go about it. I plan on doing this until April 1st.

Graphics were a nightmare, choppy, and the levels and character models I could have done in Photoshop! The sound was just as horrid! Bad music, bad voice acting, and well it was just bad!

brian9824

8-Mar(#51)

I'll give a pair of snippets for mine

Only buy it if you need convincing that your life is not worth living.

I got this game for free and still want a refund

benstylus

* 8-Mar(#52)

Updating the OP next to the victims' names once I have confirmation that the gift to them has been sent. That way no one can use this info to deduce who their Satan is

Frank

8-Mar(#53)

"The story is far, far, FAR too short. It feels like fanfiction written by a fourth-grader"

“I would suggest you not get this game. It was really bad. The only thing that was good was the change in the quality of the graphics compared to the other games"

"Anything that can be wrong with a game is in this one. Looks like [redacted] released this game before they even tested it because as far as I'm concerned this game is unplayable."

benstylus

8-Mar(#54)

Frank wrote:

> "The story is far, far, FAR too short. It feels like fanfiction written by a fourth-grader"

> “I would suggest you not get this game. It was really bad. The only thing that

> was good was the change in the quality of the graphics compared to the other games"

> "Anything that can be wrong with a game is in this one. Looks like [redacted] released

> this game before they even tested it because as far as I'm concerned this game is

> unplayable."

So far none of these criticism apply to balan wonderworld.

Kommie

8-Mar(#55)

I'm sure Balan is bad but not quite worst game of all time, The Quiet Man level of bad.

benstylus

* 8-Mar(#56)

Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby Cherub and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here

Turn Kusoge into Kusogold

sailorneorune

8-Mar(#57)

"We can't pretend this isn't a disappointment."

Oduomega

8-Mar(#58)

sailorneorune wrote:

> "We can't pretend this isn't a disappointment."

Sure we can. Anything's possible.

Frank

8-Mar(#59)

benstylus wrote:

> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby Cherub

> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here

> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold

You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to open the shrink wrap and play it.

Bleed_DukeBlue

9-Mar(#60)

“…negative fun.”

“New underwear on Christmas is better than this.”

benstylus

9-Mar(#61)

Frank wrote:

> benstylus wrote:

>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby Cherub

>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here

>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold

> You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to open

> the shrink wrap and play it.

Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan.

Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller

Well poo

benstylus

9-Mar(#62)

[GAME] is a wasted effort... My advice? Put this game in a landfill far, far away and leave it there.

image

You know you're in for it when IGN gives it less than a 7

citizen_zane

* 9-Mar(#63)

"This game is, simply, bad, in just about every way, from the uncomplicated, dated control system to the limited play boundaries surrounded by invisible walls, the poor camera, and unsatisfying play mechanics and the sometimes-disturbing graphics."

Gypsy

9-Mar(#64)

"The gameplay mechanics are chaotic, at best, the AI is plain dumb, the level-design is muddled, the scenario is boring… Well, there’s nothing to save here."

Frank

9-Mar(#65)

benstylus wrote:

> Frank wrote:

>> benstylus wrote:

> |>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby

> Cherub

> |>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here

> |>>

> |>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold

> |>>

>> You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to open

>> the shrink wrap and play it.

> Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan.

> Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller

> Well poo

Don't worry I have a spare

benstylus

9-Mar(#66)

Frank wrote:

> benstylus wrote:

>> Frank wrote:

> |>> benstylus wrote:

>> |>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby

>> Cherub

>> |>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here

>> |>>

>> |>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold

>> |>>

> |>> You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to

> open

> |>> the shrink wrap and play it.

>> Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan.

>> Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller

>> Well poo

> Don't worry I have a spare

Will just have to sell my TV too then

SupremeSarna

9-Mar(#67)

This game feels like some executives were out drinking one night and came up with a hairbrained idea for a video game. They then took it to the design team and just gave them a bunch of random ideas they had scribbled on the back of some cocktail napkins. The development team didn't really understand what the executives were hoping for and were too embarrassed to ask any questions. Plus, they didn't have the technical skills to execute it anyway, so they just phoned in the whole project to get the executives off their back...

Final Score: 3/10 (Awful)

SupremeSarna

10-Mar(#68)

May I name a few games I had to pass up because they didn't meet the price requirement? Don't worry, you won't be able to tell who I'm assigned to based on the list--it's pretty varied system-wise.

citizen_zane

10-Mar(#69)

Wow, some of these sound like real gems!

Gypsy

10-Mar(#70)

SupremeSarna wrote:

> May I name a few games I had to pass up because they didn't meet the price requirement?

> Don't worry, you won't be able to tell who I'm assigned to based on the list--it's

> pretty varied system-wise.

Sounds fun. Honestly the price requirement does make this a bit trickier. I understand the reasoning behind it but a lot of AMAZING KUSOGE is appropriately priced because no one wants that crap.

Largo Winch might be the worst game I've ever played, and it's a sub $5 PS1 game on pricecharting even now...

benstylus

* 10-Mar(#71)

Sadly, there is no reason for anyone to play through [GAME]. The storyline is one that [LICENSED IP] fans already know; the gameplay is below that of Quest for Camelot; and better graphics and sound exist in 20-year-old Colecovision games. Furthermore, the game's password save system requires you to reach the end of a level before it offers you the ability to rejoin the quest, almost forcing a person to play the game. If [PUBLISHER], [DEVELOPER], and [IP OWNER] are lucky, people will forget this stinker quickly. [GAME] is quite possibly the worst [LICENSED IP] video game ever produced.

~Frank Provo, GameSpot.com reviewer

image

Now I want to check out Quest for Camelot LOL

benstylus

10-Mar(#72)

SupremeSarna wrote:

> May I name a few games I had to pass up because they didn't meet the price requirement?

> Don't worry, you won't be able to tell who I'm assigned to based on the list--it's

> pretty varied system-wise.

If it makes you happy and doesn't spoil the fun feel free

citizen_zane

* 10-Mar(#73)

"While xxxxxxxx is a horrifically terrible experience, at least it's extremely short. What seems like a decade of isolation and cruelty is more like two and a half hours."

SupremeSarna

* 11-Mar(#74)

Bad news: I've been testing my NES throughout the day, and it is seriously on the fritz. It's a pain getting the image to display at all, and after about 15 minutes of play, the color goes and everything rapidly turns to static.

So if my Secret Satan bought me an NES game, I may not be able to play it at all.

EDIT: Scratch that. I tried my NES one more time, and now it’s working as well as ever. To prove it, I beat Super Mario Bros.
[imgt w=1536 h=2048]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GIX8h8RW8AA5Cp1?format...[/imgt]

So all my consoles are still good!

citizen_zane

11-Mar(#75)

The game that I bought arrives today. I can't wait to try it out!

"Abysmal in every way. The only possible reason there could be for purchasing it is to give as a present to a particularly hated relative - but that might be considered a little harsh."

benstylus

11-Mar(#76)

I'm out of review sites. I could grab another review or two from Amazon, but everyone else reviewed the PC version (which is quite different) instead of this port.

SupremeSarna

11-Mar(#77)

benstylus wrote:

> I'm out of review sites. I could grab another review or two from Amazon, but everyone

> else reviewed the PC version (which is quite different) instead of this port.

Why not write one yourself based on your knowledge of the game? You have a way with words and irreverent snark, so I'm sure it would be fire.

SupremeSarna

* 11-Mar(#78)

There were plenty of games I wished I could send, but did not meet the price threshold. Some of the best include:
The Cat in the Hat

(based on the horrific Mike Myers movie--sounds peachy!)
Star Wars: Jar Jar's Journey

(an educational Phantom Menace game for young children)
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

(the most uninspired, dreary beat'em-up you'll find)
Shrek

(the funniest SM64 clone you'll find)
Men in Black: The Series

(easily the worst 2D action game I've played first-hand)
Drawn to Life: The Next Chapter

(a pitifully poor entry in a prolific, respected series)

There are many others, but I don't want to eliminate too many possibilities.

Gypsy

11-Mar(#79)

@SupremeSarna Shrek is a SM64 clone???? Never would have guessed..

Frank

11-Mar(#80)

benstylus wrote:

> Frank wrote:

>> benstylus wrote:

> |>> Frank wrote:

>> |>> benstylus wrote:

> |>> |>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby

> |>> Cherub

> |>> |>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here

> |>> |>>

> |>> |>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold

> |>> |>>

>> |>> You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced

> to

>> open

>> |>> the shrink wrap and play it.

> |>>

> |>> Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan.

> |>>

> |>> Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller

> |>>

> |>> Well poo

> |>>

>> Don't worry I have a spare

> Will just have to sell my TV too then

I haven't tested this, but in theory, I bet I could get my portable GameCube screen working on a 2600

citizen_zane

11-Mar(#81)

Well, I've tried the game that I got for my victim. The good news is that they won't be punished nearly as much as benstylus was last year. The bad news is that this game still royally blows.

Switch to Secure Site!

VideoGame_Discussion

Topic Secret Satan 2024! Start weeping, because it's time to play!

Topic Secret Satan 2024! Start weeping, because it's time to play!